Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Do you know what you've got?

A friend whom I have known since 7th, or 8th grade announced on Facebook yesterday that her husband of 35 years had passed.  I really don't like to think about TLE not being in my life, where she has been since I was 18 years old......that's like 47 years!!  For me there are so many positives to being 65 years old.....the list is endless, but one of the few negatives is that people who have been in your life for decades are suddenly, sometimes without warning, no longer there.  The past 33 months Elaine and I have been together pretty much 24/7 with very few exceptions.  When we were still in our workaday lives, both working full time, and were apart almost as much as we were together I still could not imagine my life without her, so you can only imagine how I feel now after spending 24/7 with her these last 33 months.  When we were courting so many years ago we talked about spending the rest of our lives together.....growing old together.  It all seemed so romantic, but also a little abstract at the time.......now we are theoretically in the 'end game' of those dreams.  Once in a while when I lie awake in the early morning hours I have to admit to myself that my time with my best friend, my lover, the mother of our 5 children......is finite.  I wonder if when that time comes will I handle it with the same grace and dignity that my friend has shown.....I hope so.....I pray so.

I say all that to say this.......please, please, please cherish every moment with your spouse, partner, family, friends...........starting right now, right this minute.  Don't let bad feelings linger......don't argue about stupid stuff.  Behave as if there is no tomorrow, because, really, you do not know.  None of us knows if there will be a 'tomorrow'......there is only 'now'.....

........'now' I cannot imagine walking along a deserted storm ravaged beach without TLE walking ahead of me looking for a sea shell, or a piece of interesting driftwood......'now' I cannot imagine reaching out in the middle of the night and not being able to touch her......'now' I cannot imagine not hearing her infectious laugh, or seeing her amazing smile every single day.

As we walked south along the beach Monday afternoon we could see the results of the storm the night before.  There were a number of new, large logs that had washed up on the beach overnight, and numerous, enormous piles of 'bull kelp' everywhere.......those waves must have been something else the night before!  As we walked we had to keep alert watching for possible 'sneeker' waves........exceptionally large waves that seemingly come out of no where, and catch you by surprise if you are not paying attention, and can be deadly.

Before our beach walk I took care of my semi weekly ritual of dumping the black tank, then I removed and repaired the mini blinds over the kitchen sink replacing the the draw strings which had begun to fray.  Sometime during all of that I also wiped down the VW.

After our beach walk we both spent time reading.......it's funny......we can spend 3 hours sitting in the salon reading, rarely ever speaking a word to each other, but we each know that the other is thinking about them.....we each know that the other wonders what they can do to right 'now' make the other's life better.  It's just that simple.......

Thanks for stopping by!


  1. What a wonderful tribute to your wife!

    Speaking of reading, I'm really enjoying Stedman's "The Light Between Oceans." Thanks for the recommendation!

  2. Thank you, Clarkey, for sharing this. What a wonderful tribute to your love for each other! xoxoxoxox beamy


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